Although the sub-title of my book is Surrendering to Life, for some people the word “surrender” feels like pouring gasoline onto the inner fire of trauma. Surrender to that? I did surrender and look where it got me!
I am not talking about surrendering to toxic relationships. You know what to do with toxic relationships: Get the hell out of there! You have that in your power. Go! Get away! Do not look back. Every time you look back, you run the risk of being drawn magnetically back to the toxicity.
Surrender does not mean practicing idiot compassion. Surrender does not mean I should be able to deal with this. Dealing with it means leaving that situation in the dust, leaving it in the past tense.
I am talking about surrendering the story, surrendering the second dart of mental anguish about what happened. Yes, of course, we have the emotional pain. Stay right there. Stay with the first dart. No story allowed.
If the emotional pain is overwhelming, work with your therapist until you understand/feel how to be gentle with yourself. Maybe that means just 5 seconds of sinking into the emotional pain before it’s time for a breather.
We are surrendering to Life, not to life. We are surrendering to the Universe, surrendering to God, surrendering to Nature, surrendering to fill in the blank with your own word.
I surrender to being my own best friend. My best friend has my best interests at heart. My best friends loves me. I love myself enough to say “Enough.”
Trust your own strong heart.