Don’t Tell Anyone

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My friend Nan responded to my recent e-newsletter.

“I’ve had a recurrence in my other breast. I had a lumpectomy and am taking medication. Don’t tell anyone. You are one of the VERY few I’ve told – not even my sister or any family members and almost no friends either. ”

Nan and i are b.c. sisters. Such a surprise. We met each other at the Nurse Navigator’s office in our small-town hospital 5 years ago. All we had to do was look at each other to know. No words needed to be spoken. But, of course, we did speak.



No small talk of “What are you doing here?” There’s only one thing any woman is doing there, walking into or out of the Nurse Navigator’s office. We cut straight to the chase. “When’s your surgery?” “When’s yours?”

Even though Nan is “only” a friend of a friend, and i don’t know her that well, she has felt like a sister since that one moment. We went out to lunch last week, where i heard her whole story. You might think i was acting compassionately, but really, it was self-interest that prompted me to ask her out to lunch. Now i understand her more deeply. Like a sister.

And i’m not telling anyone because it’s her story to tell. I can only tell you mine, and the bottom line is that i feel at peace with her decision.

Safe in the Core of My Being

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The first day of our yoga retreat in Puerto Rico, the teacher gave us this mantra for the day: “I am safe in the core of my being.”

That’s a nice affirmation, but it is true? I want to believe that thought, but do i really feel safe in the core of my being?

When we say in our metta phrases “May I feel safe,” what are we wishing for? What are we praying for?

Safety is a lack of fear, a lack of worry, a lack of anxiety. Safety is safe in the present moment.

Some people use the phrase, “May i be free from inner and outer danger.” Most of us live in peaceful situations. We are already free from outer danger for the most part. It’s the inner danger of our own minds that we need to keep an eye on.

What are your most dangerous thoughts? Write them down, and let me know.